You need to say goodbye to mom guilt for good. Guilt is an extremely unhealthy emotion that can cause us to spiral down an ugly rabbit hole. It can be difficult to claw your way out once you’re down there.
So many moms worry that they are making bad decisions. Moms constantly question themselves when others question them. Then moms crucify themselves because they apparently are never supposed to make mistakes.
The good news is that all of you moms clearly care about your children. The bad news is… that is no way for anyone to live! This is a toxic recipe for motherhood that negatively affects us and our children. It’s time to say goodbye to mom guilt forever.
- 1 1. Don’t let what other people think affect you.
- 2 2. Making mistakes is a GOOD THING.
- 3 3. Let go of your unreasonably high bar.
- 4 4. Create positive energy by celebrating your accomplishments
- 5 Consistency is the key to change.
- 6 Children imitate us.
1. Don’t let what other people think affect you.
We all have the right to raise our kids the way we want, regardless of whether or not anyone agrees with us. You are ALWAYS going to run into people who don’t agree with the decisions you’re making in your life.
It doesn’t matter where you go or how many new people you meet. You don’t need to engage with or justify to anyone why you are doing anything.
Trust your motherly instincts, and don’t start questioning yourself just because someone else does. You are the one who is best equipped to make decisions. Your child is unique, no one else knows your child better than you, and they certainly don’t love your child more than you.
2. Making mistakes is a GOOD THING.
We all make mistakes and, for some reason, making mistakes seems to be something that society views negatively. Making mistakes is a wonderful thing! In fact, one day I’m going to come up with another word for “mistakes” that doesn’t have such negative connotations.
Mistakes are a great way to learn, and it shows that we are TRYING. We are still in the game, and that is so important. Sometimes mistakes put us on a new and better path that we might not have found otherwise.
Don’t dwell on every mistake you make and start to spiral. Nothing good will come from that. You can think about what you learned from the experience, and use that knowledge to make great choices in the future.
3. Let go of your unreasonably high bar.
So often we hold ourselves to an unreasonably high bar, and all we do is set ourselves up for failure.
Interestingly enough, we have much more reasonable standards for other people. The next time you start to beat yourself up for something, ask yourself if you would be this harsh if it was your best friend in the scenario instead of you.
If the answer is no, which it probably is, then that means you need to make some changes. It’s okay to have a high bar and to have to work hard to meet it, but it has to be attainable.
Nothing good comes from having impossibly high standards that no human could ever meet.
4. Create positive energy by celebrating your accomplishments
No accomplishment is too small. You can write out a list of things you did, you can give yourself a gold star for each item, or whatever feels the most satisfying for you. This creates positive energy.
I started doing this when I realized I was constantly focusing on what I didn’t get done that day. Maybe I didn’t clean my kitchen, or maybe I didn’t get to the laundry.
It totally brought me down and zapped me of my energy. Once I started acknowledging the things I accomplished every day, I started to feel better about myself.
Consistency is the key to change.
These ideas to say goodbye to mom guilt might seem simple, but I often find that the best ideas are. And just because they are simple, that doesn’t mean they are easy.
In order to get results, you need consistency. That is the key to real change. Do this EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Although if you do miss a day, don’t feel guilty about it! Just keep going like it never happened.
Over time, it will become a habit. Over a lot more time, it will become YOU. One day you’ll wake up and you won’t even have to think about these things anymore, it’ll just come naturally to you.
Children imitate us.
Doing all of these things will not only help you, but it will also help your child to create to create her own positive affirmations.
Lead by example, because children imitate us. If your child sees you disregarding judgement from other people, then it can help her to not let her own Judgey McJudgerson affect her negatively.
When you celebrate your mistakes and that of your child, it will encourage her to keep trying and to get up when she falls.
If you let go of your superhuman standards, this can help your child to set herself up for success regarding her own goals and standards.
When you create positive energy and acknowledge all of your accomplishments, this can help your child to applaud her own achievements and to build her confidence.
What steps have you taken to say goodbye to mom guilt? Please share in the comments below!